1) Your mindset is off, just slightly. It's very rare that people want to lose weight; what you want to lose is fat. Losing weight would include losing that very precious fat-burning source we call muscle. That'd be equivalent to asking Usain Bolt to train for marathons to become a better sprinter. It just doesn't make sense. Now, fat isn't necessarily a bad thing: it acts as an insulator, fuel source, is imperative for cell function, overall health, and important production center for hormones including leptin. Excess fat is where we run into trouble. Most importantly, your health is in danger with excess abdominal fat, which is primarily fat found around your organs which causes your stomach to protrude. Obesity, insulin resistance, inflammatory disease, metabolic syndrome, heart disease and all its components are just a few of the potential concerns with abdominal fat. Aesthetically, well, I don't think I have to explain that too much - excess fat isn't desirable. Back on point; fat is what we want to lose - not weight, FAT. That simple mindset adjustment will be night and day when it comes to reaching your goals. By far, the biggest mistake when trying to lose weight in today's society is making the scale your best friend. Again, the scale doesn't tell you how much fat you're losing, only how much weight. If you want another anecdote, it would be like my girlfriend asking for a handbag for her birthday. To me, this means jaunting over to Walmart and grabbing something that catches my eye. To her, this means a break-up. All because of a little miscommunication. You see, what she wanted was that Louis Veton, Channel, or Marcy Marc by Marc Jacobs handbag. They are all the same to me - but apparently have massive implications to her. Unfortunately, the scale is more often than not the single most influential thing on whether someone sticks to a program. It's confusing for you, because for many of you, what you're doing is working - but your scale is being a pain in the ass and misleading you.
3) You become obsessive compulsive with calorie counting. Calorie counting is more of a pain and inconvenience than anything else. In some cases it's useful (athletes, competitors, weight-class sports), but for the general public - the investment isn't worth the return.
4) You're short-sighted. Over 60% of people who lose weight gain it all back plus some within 6 months. That sounds like a wonderful recipe for failure to me. Somewhere along that journey there's a disconnect with what you want and the process you take to get there. I'm going to tell you one thing that you don't want to hear. Diets don't work. They're innately flawed, they have predetermined end dates: I want to lose 20 lbs in 3 months, I want to gain 10 lbs of muscle in 3 months, I want to lose 80 lbs in 12 months - there's a due date on all of these diets. The specific timeline for your goals is a must, this helps create accountability and motivation - but the timeline for a diet is setting yourself up for failure. It completely ignores the #1 requirement if you're looking to change your body and keep it that way: behavioural change. You have to change your nutritional behaviour and eating habits. If you start dieting for a predetermined time, there's a good chance you'll have 'rebound weight gain', or as the famous chef Gordon Ramsay himself would say, "Daaaaamn, what a waste". Imagine that, you have such an honest truthful goal you want to reach - yet after your diet is finished, you look and feel worse than before you started. That's going to take its toll psychologically.
So what should we do? First, let's trash the scale and take some measurements that are more meaningful to your goals. Most important, and in my opinion most accurate, are progress pictures. A simple front, side, and back pose every week or few weeks is good. The next best thing would be body measurements and body fat percentage. Skin calipers and circumference measurements (most commonly arm, chest, waist, hips, thighs - the more the better) are an easy and efficient combination. An official body composition analysis is the most accurate way to determine body fat (DEXA scan, BodPod). Handheld or weight scales using electrical currents are affected by too many variables, so I wouldn't put too much faith into them, although they can give you a rough estimate if used properly. Even simpler, some people suggest you can track progress by how your clothes fit. Although, once again, my girlfriend is most depressed right after she takes her jeans out of the dryer - so use with caution.
Now that our mindset is shifted, let's start kicking ass by adjusting our goals and thinking long-term. A friend recently told me, "be the change you want to see", as I replied with this brain teaser, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Get to it!
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